My Navy Blue Shorts

To get straight to the point, I peed my pants in fourth grade.

Full disclosure: I was one of “those kids” who, for some reason or another, coulnd’t seem to master the art of holding my urine overnight.

But, that is for another day and time.

What I want to share with you today is a specific incident; one I remember with absolute clarity.

It was minutes before receess. I was in fourth grade.

Not the kind of blue shorts I was wearing...

I must have downed a couple gallons of Tang that morning because all I remember was having to go to the bathroom really bad. So bad that I considered just going. Right then and there. In my seat.

Then, I had this brilliant idea (remember I was 11): just let go!

I was in the back row, so I could immediately sprint to the bathroom once class was dismissed for recess.

In addition, I could just dribble out a little bit to hold me over (Needless to say Lloyd wasn’t dropping nuggets of wisdom yet).

On top of that, I was wearing navy blue shorts (The kind of blue shorts that were perfect for hiding pee).

And so I went.

No need for a dribble because I just let it all out.

Recess came and went. I was in the clear.

I was certain my navy blue shorts camoflauged my little incident.

In a twisted sort of a way, I thought I could hide from my little accident.

While I may have temporarily succeeded in the hide-yo-pee department, there is one thing that I cannot hide from: God’s love.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39)

That is a powerful set of 50 words right there. It is specific and personal. There is absolutely nothing–not my hiding, my shame, my attempts, or my creations–that can separate of from God’s love.

I never found out if my classmates (or my parents) knew I leaked in my shorts.

Either I was sneaky-sneaky and completely inconspicuous, or I just didn’t notice that I had become “that kid”. :)

Photo credit: mahalie (Creative Commons)

::

Have you ever had an “accident”? (Embrace it!)
What do you falsely believe may separate you from God’s love?

36 Comments

  • Michael

    July 13, 2011

    An accident? Oh yeah man more times than I’d like to admit. To be honest I have a reputation for accidents.

    Reply
  • bill (cycleguy)

    July 13, 2011

    I’ve had accidents just not that kind of one. What do I falsely believe can separate me? For the longest times it was whether I went to church 3x a week and any other time the church door was open. And I was the pastor!!! :( Glad that is over with.

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 13, 2011

      Yeah me too, Bill. thanks for sharing :)

      Reply
  • Matthew Snider

    July 13, 2011

    My accidents come in the way of 13 fractured bones before the age of 18 :-)

    Never peed my pants in public that I am aware of. My memory sucks!

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 13, 2011

      >>> “… that I’m aware of.”

      LOL.

      13 broken bones? I’ve never broken any!

      Reply
  • Brandon

    July 13, 2011

    Haha! That’s awesome!

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 13, 2011

      Glad it made you laugh! Do you have an embarrassing story, Brandon?

      Reply
  • Moe

    July 13, 2011

    I knew you were a pee’er. You have that peer “look”. LOL (I keed man).

    I once pooped in my pants in Kindergarten. My parents had to come and get me. It wasn’t a leaky poop. It was a “we found captain Winky” Ace Ventura-like poop. It was hilarious.

    I would sometimes think that my sin would separate me from the love of God. No sir, it does not. He has provided the Lamb. BOOM (TOMA)!

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 13, 2011

      Wow…. loved the winky reference. Hilarious!

      Reply
      • Moe

        July 13, 2011

        Don’t forget, Ace Ventura is the better movie. Part II can’t hold a candle on it.

        Reply
  • Ryan Tate

    July 13, 2011

    Wow.

    I remember as a young boy racing across the park trying to get to the shelter bathroom but not making it in time. I pooped my pants just before I got there. Not a good memory.

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 13, 2011

      Ouch…. running, prairie doggin’ it…. just, ouch!

      Reply
  • Tony Alicea

    July 13, 2011

    This reminds me of the scene in Talladega Nights when Ricky Bobby’s son says:

    “She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants and I never did change my pee-pants all day. I’m still sittin’ in my dirty pee-pants.”

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 13, 2011

      Hilarious scene. I knew I could count on you for a Texas Ranger reference. To that I respond, “I wet my bed until I was nineteen. There’s no shame in that.”

      Reply
  • Jonathan Pearson

    July 13, 2011

    first, this is a hilarious story! 2nd, I’ve tried to hide stuff in the past…. thankfully, God helped me rid myself of that stuff. Great post bro!

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 13, 2011

      all about God… Thanks, JP!

      Reply
  • Cindy Holman

    July 13, 2011

    Okay Dustin – first this was HILARIOUS! And second – who IS that guy in the picture? Just some random photo of a guy in blue shorts – or some relative of your? Anyway – funny just the same. I’ve had so many embarrassing moments – just check David Miles’ blog out from yesterday – if you don’t believe me.

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 13, 2011

      Cindy, you’re from Seattle… you should know, right?

      (it’s a random photo, btw)

      Reply
  • Arny

    July 13, 2011

    Peewh…it’s stinky in here right now! lol…

    I charted on time…at the mall…in kakhis…not cool…not cool at all….

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 13, 2011

      Charted one? LOL. I’ve never heard it said that way before.

      In a public place like the mall? Hilarious!

      Reply
  • Donald Borsch Jr

    July 13, 2011

    Have you ever had an “accident”? (Embrace it!)
    What do you falsely believe may separate you from God’s love?
    ————————-

    1. No. If I did, it was when I was a wee lad and simply do not remember.

    2. Nothing. (Bad news for the Wesleyans.)

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 13, 2011

      Fair enough. :)

      (We already know about your daughter’s “accident”. :))

      Reply
  • David Miles

    July 13, 2011

    Dustin, I the picture really helped me connect with your story since I’m from Seattle. I appreciate your ability to connect with your audience. ;-)

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 15, 2011

      I knew you’d appreciate the Space Needle. Just glad that dude is not you. :)

      Reply
  • Mark

    July 13, 2011

    Ah yes! There are two incidents that come to mind, although there could be more that I’m repressing in the recesses of my already fragile psyche.

    The first instance involved me pooping my pants during gym class in the 4th grade. In my defense- it was Fiesta Taco day at lunch, not to mention we were engaging in some heavy tumbling/gymnastics on the mats during PE. The only upside was that PE was the last class of the day which cut down on the chaffing and prolonged embarrassment. I remember everyone in my class kept asking what that horrible smell was? Time seemed to stand still for me that day.

    The second instance occurred when I was in 5th grade during a freak hail storm while I was playing at the park near my house. I remember when it started hailing I took off on the dead run for home. A half a block from my house I saw my dad standing on the front porch yelling at me to hurry up! Upon seeing the look of panic on my dads face I tried to shift my already battered body into a higher gear. Things seemed to be going good when the unthinkable happened: I tripped and fell face first onto the unforgiving sidewalk. Apparently when my diaphragm hit the pavement it caused my bowels to jettison its contents into my shorts, adding insult to injury! And while I lay there in my own feces crying, and being pelted by mother nature, my dad swooped in and medevaced me out. Love ya dad…and I’m sorry about the shirt!

    “What do you falsely believe may separate you from God’s love?”

    Not being good enough…which stinks worse than my stories above:->

    Blessings,

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 15, 2011

      Mark, I literally laughed out loud while reading those two stories. Sorry about that. :)

      Reply
  • Ally Garner

    July 13, 2011

    Ha! i gotta tell ya, you are the master of the segway. From hiding urine to hiding from God’s love. I’m not sure what i just read, but i can’t stop laughing hahaha! Also, i’ll never read Romans 8:38 ever in life without thinking of you peeing your jorts. Thanks for that man.

    And how on earth did nobody smell you???

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 15, 2011

      Oh, no you didn’t!

      You said I wore Jorts??? LOL.

      I have no idea how no one smelled my stank, dried urine. Well, no one said anything at least. :)

      Reply
  • Loren Pinilis

    July 13, 2011

    I wonder if I’ll ever be able to read that passage without picturing urine soaked shorts.
    I’m struck by how the passage speaks not only of us being unable to hide from God’s love, but that nothing else can take us away from it either.

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 15, 2011

      I suppose that was the point (behind the point). :)

      Reply
  • Jon

    July 15, 2011

    I’ve had a few pee incidents when I was youngin..thankfully it was within the vicinity of our home lol!

    I know there have been times were I’ve thought my past would separate me from the love of God, but those are just lies of the enemy!

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 15, 2011

      At least you were close! I had to go through another 4-5 hours of school…. yuck!! :)

      Reply
  • Gary

    July 16, 2011

    Great Post.

    far to many accidents!!!!

    Some times I feel that my lack of understanding God separates me from him…But usually something amazing comes along and reminds me that my lack of understanding is irrelevant!

    Reply
    • Dustin

      July 16, 2011

      cool, no prob Gary. Thanks for the comment!

      the thing is- we’ll never have complete understanding because we serve a big God! :)

      Reply
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