Marked

Without hesitation, my wife will confirm what I am about to say.

It’s trivial, yet verifiable; humbling, mixed with a varying degree of hilarity. It’s nonsensical, and dear to my heart.

I am clumsy.

My wife jokes that I love rearranging furniture (i.e. I am always bumping into things), painting the carpet (aka spilling drinks), and am man enough to enjoy a homemade pedicure (I stub my toes on all sorts of corners and stairs). Like a pinball, I seem to navigate through life bouncing off different fixtures in my house. It happens nearly every day. I’ve fallen down stairs and bruised my body in many ways, but I’ve come to the realization that it is just a part of who I am.

This past weekend when doing some yard work, I smacked my forehead on our porch lamp. I was bending over to sweep up some shrubbery that I trimmed around our porch and–BAM!–I stood up straight and “bonked” (as my kids would say) my forehead. I wanted to cuss. Seriously, I wanted to scream it hurt so bad.

We live in a family-friendly cul-de-sac, so I restrained myself.

But, that wasn’t the end of the story. I was marked.

In fact, here it is Wednesday (four days later) and I’m still sporting the lovely, red stripe across my right brow.

While this mark is only temporary (hopefully), I am grateful that I’ve been permanently marked by One much greater.

The mark that Christ leaves on us is permanent.

When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory. (Ephesians 1:13-14)

Indeed, the Bible tells us that we are marked by His Spirit which guarantees our inheritance. I’m thankful that I can cling to a far-from-temporary promise–an eternal truth. And confidently know that “He will never leave me or forsake me”.

This means that, despite my people-pleasing flesh, pride, and tendency to make things about myself, His promise is steadfast and unchanging.

Hit me with your best shot: tell me your worst “clumsy” story?

55 Comments

  • Matthew Snider

    May 25, 2011

    Not so much clumsy rather ballsy. I have broken 14 bones in my body all trying something out I shouldn’t have. Such as breaking my leg in 5 spots sticking my foot in my spokes of my bike because I didn’t know how to use the hand breaks!

    Reply
  • Keri

    May 25, 2011

    My Mom used to always tell me that I needed eyes on my feet because I would always walk into things, stub my toe, etc. But, I think I’m actually more “clumsy” when driving. Not that I get into a lot of accidents or anything, but, ya know-the occasional “curb check” is part of my daily route. The completely crooked park job. And, don’t get me started on parallel parking or reversing. Too many bad stories there.

    The cool thing about our mark as Christians-it’s not by accident. It’s on purpose. God sought me out to deliver that seal to me. It wasn’t a clumsy mistake. :)

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      Absolutely! Not a clumsy mistake or by accident. Well said!

      And sorry I’m not with ya on the parallel parking. I’m actually kinda prideful in that area (I’m an awesome parallel parker. LOL) :)

      Reply
      • Keri

        May 25, 2011

        My husband is pretty prideful with it, too. When I had to parallel park on my drive test I knocked over all the cones, and I didn’t even realize. And, that was the first thing the instructor had me do. I’m sure he thought I was going to fail every other part of the test. But, I passed! Still can’t parallel park, but I passed! If you’ve seen that scene in Pink Panther where he tries to parallel park a Smart car in a space at least 3x the length of the vehicle, that’s pretty much me.

        Reply
        • jenn

          May 25, 2011

          I didn’t have to parallel park for my driving test (welcome to Hickville, Tennessee) so I am 30 years old and I have never parallel parked in my life. I refuse to even try. I will walk a mile in high heels (and I already mentioned how dangerous that is for me) instead of trying to parallel park.

          Oh, and one of my wheels is bent right now. Too many “curb checks” maybe? :)

          Reply
  • Justin

    May 25, 2011

    Such a great verse, Dustin – and a sweet reminder of how his love marks us for eternity.

    I’m sort of bummed that you didn’t drop the Phil Dunphy “SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN” after you bumped your head. :)

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      Wow, how could I have missed that. Hilarious!!

      Reply
  • Jason Vana

    May 25, 2011

    I’ve been known to bump into doorframes as I’m trying to walk through doors. Or not realize that a door isn’t just a typical push open door, it actually has a doorknob. I’ve embarrassed myself quite a few times in public places because of that.

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      I have a funny story about that. I was at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. I’ll share it later on when I respond to comments…. :)

      Reply
      • Dustin

        May 25, 2011

        Okay, so I was visiting the Rijksmuseum in 2003 (I think) and totally walked into a glass panel (in one of those rotating door things). I collided with the glass and fell prostrate on the ground. It was embarrassing and hilarious all at the same time!

        Reply
  • Adam

    May 25, 2011

    such a great reminder Dustin. I need to remember that more often.

    I have lost count how many time I have fallen UP the stairs at home and especially at work. The work times are the worst cause people have watched me do multiple times

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      Exactly! We have these concrete stairs outside our office that are so steep. I fall up/down the stairs ALL the time!

      Reply
  • Duane Scott

    May 25, 2011

    I recently broke my nose diving at a softball.

    Does that count?

    Reply
  • Cindy Holman

    May 25, 2011

    Mine is really embarrassing – but since we’re friends, Dustin – here goes. I was teaching a piano lesson in my own office – sitting in my own office chair – leaned over because I dropped my pen on the floor – the chair slipped (a high center of gravity and hard wood floors) and to stop myself I put out my right hand – all the pressure from my fall landed on my thumb and I heard a terrible CRACK – yeah – it was my thumb cracking under the pressure like a knuckle cracking except worse. It swelled up and turned all sorts of interesting colors of black and blue. Pretty humiliating when you cause an injury yourself, isn’t it?

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      Yikes, sounds painful! Two things: 1) Hard to play the piano with a hurt thumb and, 2) What did your student say? :)

      Reply
      • Cindy Holman

        May 25, 2011

        Okay – my teenage female shy student said NOTHING!!! Now if it had been a guy – it would have been ALL OVER! Fortunately it did NOT hurt at all to play the piano – I don’t know why!!

        Reply
  • Ben

    May 25, 2011

    Ok well, here it goes. I had tweaked my back about 6 years ago playing soccer, and so the doctor prescribed some percocet, along with some muscle relaxers. About the same time I just got all the pieces delivered to my house for a kick-butt video editing PC. So as I was building the computer, I had to grab something on the other side of the table, and since it was really heavy I just stood on the table, grabbed the cable and BAM, twinge in my back…

    On the table, (which was sturdy enough to hold me, mind you), I stood up and tried to straighten out my back, forgetting about the ceiling fan just about me. Next thing I know, Kim comes and wakes me up, freaked out because there’s blood on the floor next to my head where I fell, off the table.

    Yeah, it was kind of terrible, and I blame the drugs.

    Falling through the ceiling of our garage though, no drugs involved, but thank God my corolla was there to stop me halfway down instead of landing head first on the cement.

    Reply
    • Moe

      May 25, 2011

      He! He! I would pay to see this!

      Reply
      • Ben

        May 25, 2011

        The ceiling fall was crazy, slight concussion but… alive! I think I have the shot of the garage in facebook. I’ll show ya.

        Reply
        • Dustin

          May 25, 2011

          Oh man, I’m going to go searching for that picture right now!

          Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      Ben, that is unbelievable. :) Not because you had the unfortunate drug-back pain combo, but the reaction from you wife was probably classic.

      Reply
  • Ally Garner

    May 25, 2011

    I wouldn’t have cursed loudly, but i would’ve cursed. I need to adopbt Justin’s suggestion of using Phil Dunphy’s Sweet & Sour Chicken, haha.

    Rejoicing with you that your clumsy mark will fade away but God’s mark won’t :)

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      Yeah I probably did one of those “inside my mind” curses…. I guess just as bad, huh? :)

      Reply
  • Jon

    May 25, 2011

    Dude…that looks painful. I would have wanted to go into cuss mode, too. Or my fake ones ;).

    I’m not super clumsy–but there are times I can be. I think a given is tripping walking up the stairs. I remember when I was in school, I would do that a few times each semester. Then I would look to see if anyone saw me…LOL.

    Love that we are marked by the Spirit.

    Great post.

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      You bring up something interesting… fake cussing. LOL :)

      Dude, I tripped all the time when I was in school. I was so self conscience of people noticing I would keep my head down and not look around. :)

      Reply
  • bill (cycleguy)

    May 25, 2011

    Do I really have to tell you about the time i was out riding early in the morning and since my gears weren’t working very well, I was looking down at them and ran into a lady who was “jogging?” Do I really have to? Rats! It is out of the bag now. So now you know. The result was a broken right wrist, a bent wheel and a lady who looked like a raccoon the next day. There…you twisted my arm.

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      LOL…. thanks for sharing, Bill. “A lady who looked like a raccoon the next day” – HA!

      Reply
  • Moe

    May 25, 2011

    I’m not so much clumsy, but I once did run into a parked car while playing football on the streets of Brooklyn. Here’s how it happened:

    QB hikes the ball, I juked left than right, broke defender’s ankles and go deep, I see ball in air and nobody is stopping me, I grabbed the ball by my finger tips, when I feel my body come to a complete stop and my upper half of my body landing on the hood of parked car. I held on to the ball, shed a tear or two and limped my way back to play defense. Friends still talk about it.

    Also, there was this time I broke into a backyard and a police dog showed me how he protects his property, but that’ just another story for another day.

    Nice scar dude. Girls love scars! Show it to your honey and say, “this is the price I pay for your love my lady” (in deep sexy voice), then whisper in her ear, “love scar baby, love scar”. Do that and guarantee you’ll have a 4th daughter 9 months from that day! :)

    Reply
    • Adam

      May 25, 2011

      you my friend.. are awesome. and that is a kickass comment.

      Reply
    • Cindy Holman

      May 25, 2011

      Oh Moe – that SERIOUSLY made my WHOLE DAY!!! You are HILARIOUS!!

      Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      Moe, you win my friend. Yes, the football story is awesome. But to tease us with a police dog, and to give me tips on how to hit on my wife. You win, my friend.

      Reply
  • Mark

    May 25, 2011

    In my last post about sin I discussed my predisposition to stepping in dog-crap while mowing the yard, which has resulted in several sullied pairs of shoes. However, I think this has more to do with the offending dogs ability to stealthy camouflage his Anti-personnel-crap-fragmentation mines, than my overall clumsiness.

    Oh I do have one very embarrassing/clumsy story:

    When I was 17 I worked as a Repo-Man for this fly-by-night rent-to-own appliance store. One day my boss sent me to a house in a really bad neighborhood to repo a television set. When I arrived at the house I was greeted by 6 very large African American men, who were not very happy to see my skinny white butt (which considering the circumstances was totally warranted). They then took me up two flights of stairs to the room where the TV was located. I was horrified when I saw the TV was a 25-inch counsel set. I had not been informed of this!

    (See picture of this dinosaur @ http://bit.ly/kuKgVZ)

    When I told them I would need to come back with some help, they informed me that if I did not take the TV right then and there- they were going to throw the %@!!!* out of the 3rd story window. They also let me know that they would not be assisting with the removal. To make a long story short, I attempted to carry it by myself which resulted in me- falling down the last flight of stairs while being chased by this 25in monstrosity. Apparently when I hit the landing I was knocked out cold by either the TV or the wall! I’m not sure how long I was out, but I awoke to the sound of men laughing, and I’m pretty sure one of them was taking pictures with a Polaroid Camera. Man I wish I had access to those pic.’s…Priceless!

    Just another day in the life of a teenage Repo-Man!

    Reply
    • Donald Borsch Jr

      May 25, 2011

      Mark…

      Okay, please understand, this particular “LOL!” is not me laughing at you. It’s me laughing with– oh who am I kidding?– LOL!! @ mark!

      Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      Mark, I literally had to read this comment aloud to my wife. It was stinkin’ hilarious. It was so out-there that it had me rolling. :)

      Btw, we used to own one of those TVs. Seeing a picture of it brought back memories. :)

      Reply
  • Alex Humphrey

    May 25, 2011

    Amen, Dustin! I love being marked by God! How amazing it is to be his child =D

    My worst clumsy story? I don’t know if it’s my worst or not:

    The only time I fell down the stairs was at a friend’s house. I was pretty young and as I ran up the carpeted stairs my socks lost their grip and I began plummeting down the stairwell. I remember (as my body hit step after step after step) that the last step was made out of wood and would hurt quite a bit more than the others. I reached out my hand and caught myself on the second to last step, pushed myself into the air, and landed on my feet.

    It’s probably a lot cooler in my head than it actually is.

    Anyway, it was the only time I fell down the stairs! Not so embarrassing, but definitely clumsy!

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      Ha! That’s awesome. I have a similar story that didn’t turn out as “cool” as yours. I literally fell down my parent’s basement stairs during Christmas break my senior year in high school and had to miss a couple weeks of work (at OfficeMax — holla!) because my right foot was swollen the size of a watermelon. LOL.

      Reply
  • jenn

    May 25, 2011

    My daughter is extremely clumsy. I’m sure she doesn’t get it from me though… I mean, I’ve been known to fall almost every time I wear heels (at Walmart, at church, at work, at a comedy club in downtown Atlanta last month…). The last time I went to the Atlanta zoo, I slid on some water in the parking lot and landed in a big puddle. And a couple years ago at Opry Mills I turned around and ran straight into some guy – face to chest (yeah, I’m short). I would have fallen then too, but he caught me by the shoulders. I really don’t know why my daughter is so clumsy. :)

    Reply
    • jenn

      May 25, 2011

      Oh, and my first day at my last job, I dropped something on the floor and bent down to pick it up and banged my head on the edge of my desk. I had to walk around with a big red mark across my forehead the rest of the day and since it was my first day, I was too embarrassed to tell anyone what I had done.

      Reply
      • Dustin

        May 25, 2011

        Jenn, those comments are funny. Like mother, like daughter I suppose. And about your first day at work – that is hilarious. I would be so embarrassed…. so embarrassed! :)

        Reply
  • Donald Borsch Jr

    May 25, 2011

    Three words: Chicks dig scars.

    I enjoy it when you speak of The Spirit, D. There is just something between you and Him that works, especially when you specifically mention Him in Scripture.

    There is something there, my sir…

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 25, 2011

      Thanks, my friend. You rock!

      (and I’m with ya on the scars…. except I just don’t want this one to turn into a Harry Potter-esque scar. LOL)

      Reply
  • Jim F

    May 26, 2011

    I am not the clumsiest of human beings but I am known to have my moments here and there. Now, I am a graduate of Liberty University and I live only a few hour from there now. I was visiting nearby and want to show my kids the school. We walked all through various buildings looking around (lots of new places since I was there) and me showing them things. It was in the summer so very few people around at all. We came down a set of steps in the DeMoss building and there was a large group of Asian people touring the campus. I got to the bottom of the stairs (about 3 steps from the bottom) when my ankle gave out and I crashed to the marble floor with the sound of my flesh smacking it. It scared the bejesus out of the Asian students. I bounced up like Tiger from Winnie the Pooh. My family in laughter and me trying to exit the building as fast as possible due to the humiliation of falling down the step but not only falling but in front of a large group of people who were looking right at me and the sound of my flesh on marble still echoing through building.

    I laughed till I cried with my family outside and they still laugh hard today thinking about it – me not so much :)

    Reply
  • Tom

    May 26, 2011

    I have plenty but one when I was a young child was my plan to plant my watermelon seeds so we could grow watermelons next to our carport. The closest tool to plant with was a claw hammer. To break into the soil I would need a mighty swing. I thrust back the hammer to thrust it deeply into the soil only to have the claw dig into the crown of my head. 7-8 sttches later I think I gave up on the watermelons!

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 27, 2011

      Ouch, Tom. That hurt me just reading about that. :)

      Reply
  • Larry Hehn

    May 26, 2011

    As a bit of entertainment for my kids I used to smack Terry’s chocolate oranges against my forehead to break them into segments.

    Until the time I picked up one that had been in the freezer. I nearly knocked myself unconscious. As I staggered around the kitchen, I could hear my kids laughing and saying, “Do it again! Do it again!”

    As I pulled bits of foil from my bleeding forehead, I decided that I would never do that with a Terry’s chocolate orange again. Even at room temperature.

    Reply
  • seekingpastor

    May 26, 2011

    I went to the restroom where I work to “take care of some business.” After I went into the stall and shut the door, my name badge fell to the floor. When I bent over quickly to pick it up, my head hit the coathook. I fell back on the toilet groaning as blood poured from my head to the floor. The guy in the stall beside of me probably was wondering what I had eaten for lunch to cause me such problems. After putting paper towels on my head and cleaning the floor, I went to my boss to let him know. Per company rules, he had to drive me to the hospital where I received 5 staples to me head. If you want verification that this happened, you can ask the guy who was my boss at the time–he’s on twitter: @LarryTheDeuce

    Reply
    • Dustin

      May 27, 2011

      This was as bad as Ben’s story…. That it happened in a stall… priceless!

      Reply
  • David Miles

    May 27, 2011

    Let’s just say that I was pushed on a rolling computer stool into a friend and they slammed into the wall leaving a big hole in sheetrock from their butt. I guess you could call it a “butt hole.”

    No so much clumsy, just stupid.

    Reply
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